A Movie Review on Cathy Molina's failed attempt to localize Friends with Benefits (Unofficially Yours)

We've all seen No Strings Attached while savoring every single second of Ashton Kutcher's butt exposure. The same goes as well for Friends with Benefits, starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, whose perfect dose of hotness and chemistry just brings out the inner perverts in all of us. Both movies were released within the span of one year. So now I wonder, is this a mere coincidence or does this “friends with benefits” kind of relationship represent a generational fad? Are what we now call as “fuck buddies” much more palpable than our naïve minds could imagine? Nevertheless, both movies’ prodigious success is probably what pushed Cathy Garcia Molina to localize the same old plot.

Prior to the movie’s premiere airing, trailers were all around ABS-CBN and most local cinemas around. It seemed to be as interesting as a Star Cinema movie could ever be. We have to admit, it’s not everyday that a mainstream ABS-CBN movie with such a sensual plot be released. (Although this movie seems to be following the trend for sensual sex scenes set by No Other Woman, which has been a phenomenal success as well) To hype up the audience’s steam and curiosity, Molina coupled such a daring plot with a very interesting choice of characters to play the role. At first glance, this movie would seem like the perfect hit. With the perfect recipe,consisting of the ideal cast and a plot that would stroke all the souls of the Filipinos made repressed by the death of the 80’s and 90’s Sex Trip movies (this is the closest to non-indie pornography you can get, in the oddest way it reminds me of love and other drugs ) I sat down the cold seats of the Eastwood movie house expecting two hours of tears, laughter, and movie satisfaction. But my expectations were just as much the setbacks and disappointment I felt throughout the movie. Never had I sat in a cinema itching so much for the apparition climax, the turning point, any interesting thing actually, or at least the end of a very dragging scene.

Overall, I grade the movie with One star. Why’d I leave one star? (1) For the effort of Molina and (2) as credit for Angel Locsin’s Beyonce-like body. I mean, who really cares about the first one? We all just paid attention to the latter. Knowing that a daring, revealing, semi-pornographic sensual role was to be played by someone mandated by a men’s magazine as the sexiest woman in the country was definitely one of the things most people looked forward to, and it was in this aspect alone that I wasn’t disappointed. And although its against my long standing principles, I’m afraid to say that the same does NOT go for John Lloyd. (Peace and no offense meant to all his fanatics out there)

Now what did I do with all the other four stars? Did they fall asleep from all the tedious scenes in the movie? Or were they scared away by John Lloyd’s newly grown baby fats? (Contradictory in itself, haha)

I deny them of one star as John Lloyd’s massive (I am not sure if it is that evident, or I just have a meticulous eye for these kinds of things) weight gain has denounced him of his crush ng bayan label. His now healthier-than-regular face size and receding hair-line now give me the feel of someone who belongs in Aga Mulach’s age group. And on a more insulting nore, he did not have the abs of Derek Ramsay to pull off the same enigma he created during No Other Woman’s bed scenes.

As I would hate to go on and on with exasperating reasons as to why this movie has aggravated me, I cannot end this post without mentioning how slow the movie paced. It felt like a century sitting there. I had a restroom trip and returned without missing anything, finding myself absolutely needless to ask my friend “what happened when I was gone?”

It was that tedious.

I deny them of the two more stars for the movie is engraved with tedious scenes that would just bore the knack out of anyone who isn’t in love with either John Lloyd or Angel's face. They failed to entertain me, despite the plot and perfect cast, I can say that without a doubt.

What a waste.

And to worsen things much much much more, all their attempts to encrypt jokes in the dialogue just dug their own grave for them. This costs them one less star on my rating, once again. Obviously, they copied the same pattern (Re: Carmi Martin’s hilarious lines and jokes + Sex scenes) that No Other Woman took, hoping that they would deem the same success for the second time around. But K Brosas’ attempt to peg Carmi Martin just made everything worse, and causing a sore to the eye, the ear and the heart as well.

Anyway, I would like to end this movie review with a nice and deserving paragraph that it deserves. But the movie deserves no better and through this I shall be stating my aggravated point.