RIP Secretary Robredo

And Noynoy is still alive...





I just couldn't help but say it.

DAFUQ DID I JUST SEE

I don't see nothing wrong with a little.. WAIT. WHAT? I DON'T SEE NOTHING RIGHT IN THIS IMAGE.

This meme has ruined my life. I will therefore repost it and spread the link on twitter hoping I could share the trauma and ruin your lives as well.

All the Cramps in the World

Being a girl (or I'd love to say woman, I'm 18 now, niggers) is severely underrated.

I'd rather have a useless part of my gonads mercilessly chopped off by some fifty year old foreign pervert with a fake medical degree than to go through this mental physical emotional kind of torture every damn month.

I feel like killing anyone who tries talking to me.
I want to shave my head and dye it blonde like Miley and Malfoy.
My oral fixation is heightened aggressively; I feel the constant need to eat any edible thing I can get my hands on.
I feel like killing anyone who tries talking to me.
I'm planning the lawsuit I will file against the Midol Company when I graduate. The inefficacy of their drug is taking it's toll on my life (as well as every one else living with me) every 28 days.
I feel like killing anyone who tries talking to me.
Everlong, my happy song, has pissed me off a lot lately. When Dave Grohl starts getting on my nerves, I think that means the world REALLY will fall apart soon.
Doc Jerry is like an onion; I love him so damn much but the thought of Fil 14 makes me burst into tears.
I feel like killing anyone who tries talking to me.
Who the living crap is Bea Binene and why is she black?
Polsci majors are the most impoverished students in Ateneo not because we aren't capitalists; We're just blessed with overly generous professors who enjoy requiring movies and plays. (Not to mention a Bible-length of readings to spend for, that goes without saying)
I feel like killing anyone who tries talking to me.


I want some bulgogi right now.


Take me to Bonchon... 145 pesos, so worth it.

Woes

"The best part was the scene with Janet where we had to touch each other. It wasn't the best part because I got to touch Sam and have her to touch me. It's the exact opposite. I know it sounds dumb, but it's true. Just before the scene, I thought about Sam, and I thought that if I touched her that way and meant it, it would be cheap. And as much as I think I want to someday touch her like that, I never want it to be cheap. I don't want it to be Rocky and Janet, I wanted Sam and I. And I don't want her to mean it back. So we just played." - Charlie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I need not say more. 

As irritating as the tiny black dirt on your nails your nail cutters can't seem to reach

I’m repressed.

I’ve been trying so hard to condense all my useless thoughts within the 140 characters of twitter for quite a while now; it does NOT suffice.

 My last post was too EMOtionally propelled, I ended up too scared to even open my blog, afraid I might judge myself. (And self-judgment is always tons and tons and tons of notches gentler than judgments from an outsider’s point of view. I refuse to imagine what goes on in your minds.)

Anyway…

 To satisfy a craving, there is nothing else to do but to succumb to those desires and indulge. In other words, I will now take the liberty to discuss all the useless things going on in my head tonight (And as “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World plays, the perfect mood for a Teen age ranting session starts to set)

1)   I am really bothered by the extreme boringness of ANC News reporters’ speaking voice.

If you watch ANC, you definitely know what I mean. If you don’t: Turn on your TV, go to channel 27, listen for 2 minutes and then I will allow you to go through the rest of my post.

I can’t even tell if it’s a purpose act. Is it? I think it is. How can anyone be so passive while talking about the most cathartic things? So maybe they should be neutral and in all ways, impartial. But it’s not just their creepy passiveness that bothers me. It’s how they manifest their disturbing passiveness in the exact same nerve-wracking manner. I’m starting to think that ABS CBN makes them go through a workshop (I think it’s called: The how to have no emotions and sound exactly like everyone else in this channel workshop) before their first exposure. I don’t know.

Bottom line is: These people creep me out.

2)   I hate GMA celebrities SO. DAMN. BAD.

I’ve already gone through this thought over and over again, prolly a hundred times in my head. What makes them so irritating? I don’t know. They’re not ugly; in fact I think Lovi Poe is one of the most gorgeous Filipinas I’ve ever seen. They’re not talentless either. None of them have that nauseating Empress and Erich accent, you know, the one that makes you want to pull their tongues out. But for some reason, no matter how much they irritate me I’d rather repress my desires to pull of their taste organs off and watch them, over any GMA star.

I know I sound too violent. I’m starting to think that the problem lies within myself. I need to increase my patience and be more tolerant. But the question is, of what? How on earth do I heighten my tolerance of something I can not even pinpoint?

3) Rats scare the living ____ of me, and I love history class.

A few days ago, I went down the Piraeus to submit to my green mango and bagoong cravings. (Weh Socrates)

 (In other words, pumunta ako sa palengke para bumili ng manggang hilaw at bagoong)

            Let me narrate my experience, Pokemon style (There’s more suspense this way)

Bianca enters a dark street.

A wild giant rat appears.

What does Bianca do?

Bianca sabotages herself by suddenly remembering her history lesson for the day (The Bubonic plague and how rats almost killed Europe)

What does Giant rat do?

Giant rat wags its tail.

Bianca runs away.

             I almost had a heart attack, and I’m not even exaggerating, not even a tiny bit. I hate rats, and rats hate me. We are two living creatures that will NEVER co-exist. I am one of the most adaptable cowgirls you will ever find, but I will always always always feel fright and thoughts of death in the presence of those hairy little abominations. I would rather wipe ass like Sharon Cuneta did in Caregiver, than touch a rat/mouse/hamster even just for a second.

4)   What is with this Fifty Shades of Grey fad?

As I have tweeted, “I’ll be a condescending hipster who refuses to get her hands anywhere near that Fifty Shades of Sexual Abomination you’re all talking about.”

I don’t even want do dwell on this any longer. This book has such a huge (and horny) fan-base, I’m afraid if I write more; I might not make it alive.

ANYHUU

I’ve satisfied my write/rant hunger and am therefore too lazy to come up with a proper concluding sentence.

This aint no paper; I can leave whenever I want.